Australia picks up bikini gauntlet

PANAMA CITY BEACH — Panama City Beach has declared bikini war on Australia, and the “Land Down Under” has picked up the gauntlet.

The first shot was fired by the Bay County Tourist Development Council (TDC), when executive director Dan Rowe said local beaches were intent this year on stealing the world bikini title from Australia’s Gold Coast, much like Paris once stole Helen from Sparta.

“It is time for the Gold Coast’s bikini babes to band together,” www.goldcoast.com.au told its readers in response. “We are going to war.”

The world record for the largest bikini parade was set in October at Australia’s Surfers Paradise beach, where 357 women paraded in the iconic swimwear.

If the record were broken, Panama City Beach would earn a place in the Guinness Book of World Records, representatives of which will be on hand during the upcoming Spring Break to record the number and make the record official.

Martin Winter, Rowe’s counterpart on the Gold Coast, said the friendly competition is good for business, but “Panama City Beach must remember this — even if they do produce more people, none will be nearly as beautiful as the women who walked on the Coast,” goldcoast.com.au reported.

Rowe said the marketing group StudentUniverse Media will handle details of the record attempt, and the group’s marketing director, Melissa Porcelli, teased the Gold Coast that the stage was set for Panama City Beach to bring the record to Bay County.

“Bring it on, Gold Coast,” she said in a quote that appeared on the goldcoast.com.au web site. “On behalf of Panama City Beach and StudentUniverse Media, we look forward to stealing the title.”

On Monday, Porcelli wrote in an e-mail that her company was a Spring Break expert and knew how to have fun.

“We are very excited to host the event and with the help of all the ladies traveling to Panama City Beach this March, we are looking forward to winning the title,” she said. “The ‘Land Down Under’ won’t know what it’s like to stay at the top for very long.”

All this talk about a bikini war and large bikini parade, however, has Police Chief Robert Harding mapping out worst-case scenarios, which he is paid to do. The TDC is doing its job to put “heads in beds,” he said Monday, but if things “go south” his team is tasked to clean it up.

Combining college kids, alcohol and hundreds of half-naked coeds in an unrehearsed event like a bikini parade could be like sparking an X-rated gasoline blaze in the middle of the ritual Spring Break fire, he said.

Harding said the city was forced to put women in jail several years ago to halt taking off bikini tops during Mardi Gras. His force might not have enough officers to police a special event like the bikini parade this year if things get out of hand, especially if the parade is held before noon.

“Spring Break is already one big event,” Harding said Monday, noting that law enforcement shifts will run noon to midnight during Spring Break. “I hope it’s (bikini parade) successful, but we have to always think about the worst-case scenario, what could go wrong.”